[EDITOR'S NOTE: In the mounds of emails I receive on a daily basis, I get correspondances from policy activists, ecological medics, occupiers from many countries, global jet setting conference protesters, and I also sometimes get emails from just plain cool people. Sometimes, a person will send me a poem. Well just a few minutes ago I opened up an email and inside of it was one poem from Karl Eltwater, front runner for the 2012 American poet laureate post. I know, how cool?! Newt Gingrich promises we'll colonize the moon soon after he takes office and that we'll be traveling back and forth to Mars during his second term as president (announced at a speech in Florida, January 26, 2012). You know I'm fan of that shit! And then I receive Eltwater's perfect song of praise for Gingrich's vision and dream and I'm honored to share the poem with you!]
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“To the moon, please! Ode for Newt Gingrich.”
By Karl Eltwater, front runner for the 2012 American poet laureate post
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Newt Gingrich, I don’t go to swingers parties in Florida,
so I didn’t see you during your visit there this month.
But we’re cool, man, I mean about the parties.
Everybody should have a right to do as they wish in private.
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I did, however, learn from my wife today
that she heard on talk radio where
you said you would have Americans
living on moon bases by the end
of your second term.
Moon bases!
By the end of your second term!
That’s the most kick-ass stoner
thing any candidate’s said yet!
It way beats Santorum’s
downer talk about raped and pregnant daughters
and Willard Romney’s obvious tax returns.
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I couldn’t contain
myself! “Wife!” I exclaimed.
“I have to go read for myself!”
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I jumped off the couch.
I ran into the kitchen.
I hooked up the laptop.
I got online and I googled
“…newt gingrich moon colony…”
and sure as shit,
in a google nanosecond,
yep.
There they were. Articles posted today,
January 26, 2012,
heralding your lunar vision!
My man Newt!
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I too agree with moon bases! Hells yes, I say!
I mean, this planet sucks. That’s for sure. Everything
is not any good anymore. It’s broken.
Let’s skip town – let’s move the species
off this God Forsaken rock and enjoy
the beauty of the moon! I say we send
Dick and crew up there on the first ship
so they can immediately start to explore
for oil and natural gas!
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And imagine – all the gray powdery dust we could
ever want! And being fat? Forget about it!
We would weigh like so much less.
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I don’t think I can fly. I’m getting old,
I have poor health insurance, I’m tied
to my mortgage and I still have 179 months
to pay on my student loans
and a dozen other dogs are barking
at me, so volunteering for the first wave
of space pioneers is probably unlikely for me!
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But I will sacrifice for the cause, you know -
because I know you’ll ask, just like Kennedy did.
I will give up all hope for myself as I stay
down here, a lonely man left adrift
on this dangerous and
polluted stone.
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I will seek employment at one
of the food packing factories, you know.
Because, like I’m sure you’ve considered,
you can’t just go up there grow your own food.
Unless you talk with Monsanto. Hell,
they know how to engineer anything.
They could probably engineer something
that would grow in the lunar dust.
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I will be a food packer, loading the super
spaceships and shiny transport vehicles
at the space ports that I know will
help build viable industries in my
great state.
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I, along with the rest of my castaway
earth-peers, Mr. Future President, will pack with pride,
you can be sure of that.
We’ll make sure none of the valuable pioneers
risking life and limb on the moon
will have to go hungry, no sir,
Mr. Future President of America!
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And I love the image you selected to accompany
and promote your idea! It opens up your
article – it’s a black white drawing
of the lunar colony as imagined by
American engineers, Sept. 26, 1969.
At first I thought: we ought to have
a better visual than one that is 42
years old, but then I remembered:
you’re the expert,
not me.
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And in the article, it said that after “The crowd erupted in applause,”
you announced how we would be making regular flights
to Mars by 2020. Like – that’s awesome!
We won’t even have 20 percent of our energy
from renewable resources by then, down here!
But just think – at the same time – we’ll be jaunting
back and forth to Mars!
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I wonder what Walter Sobchak would have to say
about such a marvel of vision and policy.
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* The poet, Karl Eltwater, lives and works in Chattanooga, Tennesse, as a front gate guard at a coal mine slurry repository. He is regularly published across a handful of blogs on three continents, and hopes to one day sell a collection of his best poems on Amazon. He also sent me a link to the article upon which the second part of his poem on is based. That link is: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/newt-gingrich-promises-moon-base-flights-mars-reality/story?id=15449425. And for ease of user access, I screen captured the actual article below…

- The ABC article on Newt Gingrich’s moon proposal. 1.26.2012.
[Update 1.27.2012. I sent this link to the Washington Post this morning, twice, on the comment post attached to one of their fine articles on Mr. Gingrich's space proposal. Funny, the site moderator sent me immediate emails each time telling me that my comments - which included a link to Mr. Eltwater's poem (above) violated the Washington Post's policies and were deleted as "inappropriate." If find that disturbing - is the Washington Post politically biased against Mr. Gingrich?]

This is a screen capture from the Washington Post. They hated Eltwater's poem and the moderators would not allow me to post a link to the poem for their readers. That seems odd - Eltwater's poem is very clearly a pro-Gingrich piece. Is the Washington Post biased against this very potential Republican presidential frontrunner?